Score: 2

"so."

submission: Penios 5000

date: May 7, 2006

This was lazy. It was a dick joke. Don't get me wrong dick jokes can be funny. Just not this one. It looked like you were kidding after the fact. Like you started out with a very vague idea for a penis joke, and then got distracted while you were putting it together. "...and then the dog should... um ah... do a flip... aw man... It's too hard to flip it all together... I'll just have all the parts flip... yeah, um and.... and a dick joke..."

Stop whispering into the mic.

Score: 9

"Nice"

submission: West Pole TV 1

date: March 6, 2006

Always cool to see something in the Portal destined for front page.

Regardless of the following critique this was awesome.

I think that the slealthy killing wasn't particularly funny, and tended to hold the piece back. It seemed like you just wanted this character to start killing people.

When you killed the first Russian I thought 'well that's it then' and it was funny. Cause he killed the competition. But it kept going on. Which was (a) too long for the joke and (b) confusing as I beleived there to be only one Russian.

Maybe make the russians look slightly different. And show more than 1 at the start.

Generally the jokes felt a bit overplotted. The spontenaity felt missing. I saw the jokes as a bit obvious.

But, again, this was a great flash. keep up the good work

Score: 7

"Sooo much potential."

submission: EgoCity Chap V disk2

date: February 26, 2006

First of all regardless of the following critique. This was a great piece.

Sole Purpose. When people use this cliche they are saying 'sole purpose' as in only purpose. Not 'soul purpose' which while being a much more romantic inerpretation, sounds dumb to anyone who knows better.

It was really hard to follow (and although I realize I'm in the middle of a story here) You should be able to watch an episode and (maybe not understand everything) still get the gist of what's going on.

What I did get of the story line was very cliche. It did nothing to seperate itself from any other anime. While the crafting skills employed were excellent they can never compete with real anime. The way you can compete is by telling a new story.

This also suffers from 'science fiction talk' which is the over-explanation of everything without appearant intrest by the author. If there is only one 'zero cannon' why would anyone call it by a long string of greek numbers? Why the energies=souls over explanation. You're writing to an audience that can make the leap. Science fiction talk isn't interesting. Descriptives aren't interesting. Reiteration is downright annoying. What's important is what happens, and how the characters react (what they do, and how they see it). Easy tip. Read the line aloud. Does it move the plot? Is it interesting? Does it give insight to the characters? If you answered No for 2 of 3 then cut the line.

Keep working, and don't believe you've ever 'got it'.

Score: 8

"Hey bitches."

submission: Nuggets S4 - Ze Baby

date: February 22, 2006

You're in my favorites. Was it the last episode? Anyway. Love the humor. I quote the "do you ever wanna sleep with an ugly person..." monologue all the time.

This episode lacked a bit. I think what was going on with wattz was funny, but what makes these so great is the full cast of characters. Wattz isn't someone you immediatly identify with. He's a character that puts all the others into persective. In short I feel this scene should have been broken up and placed in alternating sections with a scene involving the other characters.

But again. I do think these are great. My biggest complaint? Too long between episodes.

Score: 8

"Nice Work"

submission: Thing-Thing Arena

date: February 12, 2006

Always nice to see something in the portal that is desitned for front page.

When fighting the stinky bean I ran out of ammo almost immidiatly. That is a stinky bean.

Something needs to happen with weapon switing. Red Faction style indicator? HUD? An auto pause while switching weapons would add a lot to game play. Nothing is more frustrating than cycling through weapons. We aren't using controllers so the game should bend in our favor in this instance. Even in vs. I don't think this would get to irritating. Something needs to happen here. Think ouside the box here anyway.

Score: 4

"Hey pud"

submission: <3 from the GG

date: February 7, 2006

listen here. I voted well on this movie, but this shit pisses me right the hell off.

"Flash by MrKickyourbutt:
- none -"

That is not fucking relevant. Seriously.

1. Your reviewers are your audience. If you are submitting here, you do so - to be judged -. To complain about this process is to complain about having your hand sliced off after voluntarily putting it in a wood chipper.
2. People who have no flashes are allowed to review. You knew that going in. More to the point. They are still your audience. Just because I can't dance doesn't mean I can't tell when other people can't dance.
----sidenote----
Art is largly subjective anyway. What I mean by that is... How can ANYONE qualify who is fit to judge? Since mutual exlusivity is mastubatory a fully inclusive review process is not merely convenient, it's necessary.

3. How do you know your current reviewers flashes didn't get blammed? Still shows up as '-none-'

I work with flash for a living and I come here to see people that are still having fun with it. This self-righteous holier-than-thou 'well what have you done' response has to stop.

and before you can say 'flash by occluded...'
naivemedia"dot"com -underconstruction-
minotstateu"dot"edu"slash"redgreen
both entirely done in flash.

sorry bout the "" no URLS

Score: 3

"Listen here."

submission: BAZ shorts Ep 2

date: January 28, 2006

Your reviewers are your audience. So, kid, regardless of flash authorship they have a right to an opinion. Opinions which, because you submitted here for peer review, you are beholding to. Cut the self-righteous bullshit.

These reviews are for you to learn from. If someone has something nasty to say. Be a man and learn something from it. You can of course continue to be a child, and blindly defend lackluster work. I guess it's your prerogative.

The story sucked. Comic timing leaves much to be desired. The music choices fit well with the peice. Epitaph and credits seemed out of place. Looks like lazy thinking.

Score: 2

"I didn't watch it."

submission: Aint That A Bitch?

date: December 17, 2005

I couldn't watch all of it. I wasn't impressed with the loading screen. So I just blammed it. I knew I wasn't going to like it.

Seriously. Don't be a smart ass in your opener and we won't blam it. 'Cause we all say to ourselves 'Alright, asshole, I'll take you up on that'.

WarHammer 40K is fun. This was not.

Score: 5

"The word is surreal"

submission: Abstract Mcstrab

date: December 8, 2005

Not abstract. Strictly. Abstracted but I would say more like Surreal.

Labeling aside. Did anything in this interest you? It looked like drawing without intent. It looked like the only reason you choose to mess with the environment is because you couldn't think of anything. A good piece of art (abstract, Surreal, Narative, or otherwise) is about choice. Which this piece didn't show a lot of.

First thing off the top of your head is not a choice. Unless you bend your piece to the will of your whim. Don't let the peice determine what happens. You make it happen.

Still keep working. Just don't rest on a term. What you want to do should show. Even in an abstract piece.

There's potential here.

Score: 10

"To Far? Never."

submission: Spoilsbury Toast Boy -2

date: November 21, 2005

Again excellent work. Huge Fan. Wonder If you know of Matthew Barney? You're Flash ability is contnually evolving which has made the stories more accessible. Less constricted by the medium in which they are presented.

I do think sex is an over used surealist device. The subtler images & situations are more interesting, I feel. However I beetle but-fucking a grandma has got to be a new line crossed in sex and shock.