Score: 9

"Great work."

submission: Salad Fingers Episode 6

date: July 25, 2005

I laughed out loud a couple of times. This I feel is an unusual event when watching Salad Fingers.

Huge fan. Reminds me of Matthew Barney, or David Lynch.

The texture translucent in the floors. Ever tried using such techniques universally to add to the overall 'decay' feel.

Score: 3

"You play button doesn't work."

submission: Cool Kids: An Insane Film

date: February 5, 2005

If you wish to play this movie right click and choose Play from the menu. Mac users Control click.

Not great. Not bad. Not Funny. Not Boring. This movie is awash in emotional ambiguity.

Score: 7

"Fire"

submission: Bouncy The Ball

date: November 25, 2004

The floor of fire slowed down my computer. It was level 2 or 3. I have an old comp, but I take it that the fire wasn't Flash native. You could trace the bitmap of each frame of Fire animation. Was it a bunch of semitransparent particles? That could account for the slow down too. I've seen more complex images that didn't slow down my computer. that was the only instance in the game.

Good game. Graphics where pretty basic. If you're ever looking to team up with a graphics guy drop me a line. I can show you what I've done. So you don't have to just trust me.

Score: 3

"Probably stupid of me."

submission: Pong.

date: November 25, 2004

I don't know how you programmed this, but I assume you run a test to see where the ball is in relationship to the wall. Is the test loosely in non-haxxor speak 'If ball = wall then reflect'? Perhaps it should be 'If ball < (wall-1) then reflect'.

Sometime the computer might miss a test. And that test might be if the wall is there or not. With a less than or greater than you can see if the ball is past the wall. If you add or subtract a pixel you can get it to hit when the test runs as it should, and only be off by a pixel when it doesn't (still better than the lost ball glitch).

I'm at my parent's house for thanksgiving (no reference material) and would rather communicate what I beleive to be wrong rather than give you a presice script that might not work. Again I have no idea what your script says.

Sorry about the poor score. Nice work, but it's nothing that sets itself apart.

Score: 5

"But..."

submission: Greenclean

date: November 21, 2004

Nice work and all, but you totally ripped off one-eyed films.

ky.hkkk.fi/~laari/lodger/lodger.html

If anyone wants to see the work this is taking it's style cues from.

Score: 8

"Good stuff, but I liked Mullhuland Drive too."

submission: Spoilsbury Toast Boy

date: October 11, 2004

While the audience for this kind of thing is limited you still are famous here for this kind of stuff. I love it. I dig the dreamlike. I subsist on the sureal. I would like to take a moment to parady the review previous to mine. (previous review in quotes my comments proceded by a dash)

"Gah! What on Earth is wrong with you?"
-Which is an interesting way to set up the review. When you read the following.

"The thing is that all of your submissions are just weird, and it's gettin old."
-If it's old hat why would his first line be one of shock. How can something cliche shock?

"They all have similar plots too. Weird character does something weird, gross stuff happens, and then somebody or everybody dies bloodily. It's really nothing special anymore."
-Well done, this person actually summed up any tragic plot ever. Take out the adjectives and it's 'a character does something, stuff happens, and then somebody or everybody dies'. Seriously funny in an 'ignorant and reiterate' sort of way.

"The weirdness has just become too normal for me. Nothing too new or interesting."
-Weirdness is too normal? This person has completely destroyed the meanings of these two antonyms by this comparison. They are opposits. Even taken in context this makes for a poor rhetorical artifact. And again I'd like to point to the first line of this review. "Gah! What on Earth is wrong with you?" Which to me says (and I may well be wrong here) 'Wow, that was weird in a way I do not feel is normal, and you are weird for making it'.

Back to you the author
good show I've enjoyed all your work. The Milkman is your weakest piece.

Score: 4

"real animation"

submission: Real Animation

date: September 21, 2004

All the videos on this site use 'real' animation. Unless absolutly nothing moves in the video, then it's animated. You pompous piece of crap.

Score: 7

"Potential"

submission: [Early Work] Faded

date: September 15, 2004

Nice imagery. Work on your execution. Smoother animation on the main character, the water ripple, etc.

The symbolism was nice, pushing trite though. I'm a big counting crows fan and that pulled me through the rougher spots.

Some narrative points.... I don't know why the guy was running. The rest of the movement was subtle. The running was a unmotivated contrast. Carving the heart into the tree = good. Rip = bad. There should be another way to show 'grave'. I see the church as an attempt.

You could've tied in that heart back to the grave for a more meaningful connection. Maybe as the sun (symbol of the lost girl I assume) passed behind the tree and the grave it could illuminate the carved heart.

More scenes for a build. Maybe at the grave before the tree. So we go from grave to the tree. Where we get the context of the grave (which is I, again, assume that he carved his love into the tree) and we can then return. Maybe with another scene in between to give us time to make the connection and give us a reprive.

I wouldn't have written if I didn't think it was worth it.

Score: 8

"Issues not withstanding"

submission: YAAFM 9: Michael Moore

date: September 4, 2004

This flash is and the others in this series are just as guilty as Micheal Moore is of hypocrisy.

Compared to the Bush Flash. Niether hit hard or even in the right spots. Both Missrepresent facts, and/or omit counter points.

I.E. Missrepresentation- The 'a black man has never...' string of text. Was from his book and was meant to make us think about who we are actually victimized by as apposed to who are percieved as criminals. Not that he actually hates white people. Funny that humorists themselves can't get a joke.

I.E. Omitted fact- Goerge Bush's Cousin was the camera man for Roger and Me. Can you imagine George going to his cousin's house, and Micheal Moore is there.

Then again as a response to most of the reviews for both of these movies...

IT'S A JOKE

It's not meant to be taken seriously. Is it funny? Yes. Not the best. But funny. But appearantly only funny when the other side of the fence gets roasted.

Everyone equally get over it.

Score: 3

"God what a whinny ..."

submission: the ninja attack

date: August 28, 2004

Shut up. You got a bad review. Boo Hoo. I feel so bad for you having your dreams of being a flash god squashed like that. Shut up. If you make a bad movie I want to vent about how bad it was. If I see It I get to tell anyone what I think about. Suck it up. What do you care? If you're not doing it for the reviews DON'T READ THEM. Why are you making animations? If it's for your own need for approval then it's not your flash that sucks it's you.

Now for the flash review...

Eh... Nothing new. Not horrible just... eh...